Tangled Up in Blue

Driving home from my husband's office, I heard this song on the radio and it really put me in "the zone" to focus on music today. So I thought I'd share Bob Dylan's "Tangled Up in Blue."


There's also a Jerry Garcia version. Reminds me of my old San Francisco "Mad Woman" days when I worked on the production of a book about Jerry Garcia. Fun times! These are definitely the sounds of the San Francisco Bay Area, which you can still hear and feel the vibe today.

The video follows a brief 4-second commercial.

Wines by Wives

Okay, I'm a big fan of Real Housewives of Orange County because I grew up there and this place has a special place in my heart.

Yes, I know how vapid and silly and stupid some of these women come across at times and I don't think they depict the real housewives of Orange County (although I probably know a few like them). But they probably don't even depict who they really are - after all, this is television!

But they are fun to watch and I get to peek into my favorite county and see my favorite places. As a wine lover with access to Napa/Sonoma, I'm actually intrigued by their Wines by Wives Club. But which housewife should I join - Vicki or Tamra?

My first instinct is to join Vicki because she's older, has more experience, and seems more knowledgeable. But in the last episode, she didn't seem that interested in the wine - she was more about promoting "Vicki's Vodka." So would she really be the wife to trust in her choice of wines?

Tamra, on the other hand, seems so immature, crass, and stupid. But she's far more passionate about the business of choosing wine - maybe she's the one to trust. And I do love her - thank goodness she's starting to realize that maybe she needs help with her anger and the bombs that drop out of her mouth. I have hope for Tamra.

Who would you choose?

Advocates in Heaven

If I were a songwriter, I'd write a song,
Called "Advocates in Heaven" - on earth there is one,
No mother, no father, no daughter, no son,
To stand beside me when life comes undone.

In Heaven they're singing and waiting you know,
Grandma and Grandpa, their faces aglow,
Sharing and praying and watching me grow,
Hearts filled with love; unable to show.

There's Billie and Cleon and Bobby and Don,
Great Grandma who held me when I was so young,
They're applauding and shouting and cheering me on,
Knowing I am God's and the victory has been won.

Mother's Day: the Aftermath

Mother's Day is a tough day for a lot of people. I did my best to honor the day and those in my life but Mother's Day seemed to go on for days. I posted "Is Mother's Day Over Yet?" on Facebook and some of my friends expressed the same sentiment. One suggested that next year we get together and drink Mojitos. Well, that sounds like fun but you can't escape Mother's Day even if you stay inside. I know - I tried.

How ironic that people are so much more willing to wish you "Happy Mother's Day" than say "Merry Christmas." You can't even go to church and escape it. Why they think a secular holiday belongs in church, I'll never know. But I do know this: I've learned to skip church on Mother's Day.

It's not only commercial but it triggers negative feelings for a lot of people, such as those who:

• Lost a mother through death
• Had a lousy mother,  an unavailable mother, or maybe even an abusive mother
• Aren't mothers, by choice, circumstances, or by gender
• Had a miscarriage, an abortion, gave a child up for adoption, or lost a child through death

Mother's Day can bring back negative feelings or motivate you to contact a mother you really should be in "no contact" with. Or perhaps you've been limiting the contact to what is healthy for you and Mother's Day guilts you into pushing past your healthy contact boundaries that maybe you wouldn't have otherwise. It can set you back in your recovery. So maybe it's time to get out those resources again.

In researching this post, I found some interesting sites. One of them was Sanctuary for the Abused: Emotionally Abused Daughters. What is emotional abuse? According to this site:

In broad terms I would say an emotionally abusive mother is a mother who uses her son or daughter in an attempt to fill her own unmet emotional needs. This is similar to defining sexual abuse as someone who uses another person in order to fill their own sexual needs.

Included is a long list of General Characteristics of Emotionally Abusive Mothers, but here are a few:

• Making the child/teen feel responsible for the mother's feelings.
• Threatening them specifically with rejection or abandonment.
• Invalidating their feelings.
• Laying undeserved guilt on them.
• Placing undeserved blame on them.
• Refusing to apologize.
• Judging or rejecting their friends.
• Invading their privacy.
• Failing to show trust in them.
• Criticizing them.

I also found several sites out there for "Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers." But I also read warnings about some of these groups so I won't link to any of them. But it is an interesting thing to explore - just make sure what you are reading is reliable.

It's interesting that this abuse is more prevalent among children of single mothers or children whose biological father is not living in the house. For example, if a family consists of one child from one man and one child or more from the man she is married to, the child's father who is present can defend *his* child and the mother knows that. She's not as likely to abuse that child.

But the child without contact with their father is far more susceptible to emotional abuse - who will defend her? Even if the step father insists he "loves her like his own," that instinctive protection is often missing. Either way, the mother, especially if she is narcissistic, knows this and will take advantage of it. And this can set the tone for the relationship well into adulthood, even throughout your entire life, if you let it. (Think "Cinderella".)

It can all be very subtle. So subtle that if you are that son or daughter, you may not even realize what's going on. You just know you're in a lot of pain and confusion and you don't understand why.

It's not that these mothers are evil, although their behavior can be rather evil. It's just that they never dealt with their issues and so their issues color their relationships. That's why it's even more important that you, the son or daughter, address your issues.

Growing up without my father led to a search for him, discovery of him and an awareness of these issues. It led to an understanding heart for other people, which is a good thing. I interviewed others and wrote about these experiences in Myths of the Fatherless. And I continue to be interested in this topic.

The "Real Women" Series

REAL WOMEN WEAR RED

Real Women Wear Red continues to be my best selling novel. After 3 days on the Kindle Select program, 1300 downloads later, Real Women Wear Red made it to #13.

I'm happy to announce that the sequel, Real Women Sing the Blues, is now available on Kindle. If you haven't read Real Women Wear Red or it's been awhile, you may want to download a copy of RWWR for your Kindle.

"I may dye my hair blonde, I may drink pink drinks, but I am not doing pink toe polish. Red, that’s my color. After all, real women wear red.” - Cyn from Real Women Wear Red

When Kate “Cyn” Francis changes her name, her hair color, and her age in order to snag a younger man on a Caribbean cruise, the last thing she expects is to fall overboard for a Cary Grant look-alike.

Sandy Brown, eager to get over a broken heart, is also looking for love.

 Millie Evans, having recently sold her publishing empire, is on a succession of one-week cruises, looking to reconnect with a past love. But this is no ordinary love boat.

Three women, three generations, all connected in an unexpected way. And it’s more than sharing the same motto that “real women wear red.”  

Cyn was called Fabulous by one agent and Real Women Wear Red was offered literary representation and a publishing contract.  

BUY NOW from Amazon.com in Print or Kindle.
 

REAL WOMEN SING THE BLUES

"In that moment, I knew I could no longer be a Wall Street monkey, and somewhere out there the Blues were calling my name." - Robin

When the women of Real Women Wear Red return from their Caribbean cruise, each woman must deal with the consequences of secrets shared onboard ship. Millie's secret sends Robin reeling all the way to Blue Hawaii, and she finds herself chasing Moondoggie and singing the Blues. This sets off the "Millie Domino Effect."

Millie chases after Robin and Monterey Jack chases after Millie. Cyn joins Robin and Millie on the cruise when her "Cary Grant" gets too serious too fast. And Sandy runs to Cyn for motherly comfort when her shipboard romance blows up.

 Four women, four islands, and a seven-night cruise to Paradise. Is there life after Blue Hawaii or will they end up singing the Blues?

BUY now from Amazon.com for Kindle.

Women Who Sing the Blues

The Voice is back, feeding my musical muse. So, besides working on my wip, I also plan to work on some music. But often the 2 are combined. Music is often the passion for my characters.

Take, for example, Robin in Real Women Sing the Blues, the sequel to Real Women Wear Red.

So before I get back into my wip, I thought I'd introduce you to the women of Real Women Sing the Blues by including an excerpt from each character.

Robin

Millie

Cyn

Sandy

A Shaker of Margaritas Wins Awards

I was proud to be a part of the A Shaker of Margaritas anthologies before it won awards. But now I've discovered it's been winning awards - woo hoo! Perhaps that makes me an award-winning author. It does explain why my short stories seem to be my most popular titles right now.  

Viva Las Vegas was published in the first A Shaker of Margaritas: Hot Flash Mommas anthology. Cougars in Cabo was published in the second A Shaker of Margaritas: Cougars on the Prowl anthology.

There's a new kid on the block and the third anthology A Shaker of Margaritas: Bad Hair Day has also joined the other 2 anthologies. I love the cover!! Too busy moving, I didn't submit a short story to the third A Shaker of Margaritas: Bad Hair Day anthology and am a bit disappointed that I couldn't fit it in. But 3 interstate moves in a little over a year kept me a bit busy. :)

The A Shaker of Margaritas anthologies are published by Mozark Press and are available in print and e-book (special sale for e-book was just announced here.)

My short stories, Viva Las Vegas and Cougars in Cabo, are available in these anthologies and as standalones for the Kindle.